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Use The Pause Button When Life Gets Busy


Have you heard a work colleague retort back saying, “I’m too busy!”, while shaking their head, and hastily walking away with a stack of manila folders under their arms? Or a friend despairingly volunteering their feelings, saying, “I feel like I'm in that hamster wheel running but not going anywhere!”? They may not really mean it after that moment, but their emotional outburst at that time would be very real.


The same frustrations could even be said of a home keeper who has a task list which fills up every minute of the day. These tasks could include getting the children ready for school, making their lunches, driving them to school, picking up the groceries, getting the washing done, vacuuming the house, staying on the phone for a resolution with a telco company, seeing to the wilted veggies outside, returning for school pick-ups, helping with homework, doing play time, getting dinner ready, providing a listening ear to a partner who has returned from a busy day at work, doing the dishes, reading story books before the children's bedtime, and making sure that the rubbish bins have been taken out for collection in the morning. It is exhausting just reading these tasks out aloud, but that could be the reality of the life faced by many families. While this scenario may be a bit of an exaggeration, the point is we can all fall into the trap of doing, doing, doing, without being aware of the role we play, the environment we're in, our emotion, and our state of mental wellbeing as we live our lives.

During the global Covid pandemic lockdown, many businesses in Australia and around the world had their office staff work from home. Those workers with children, had to also contend with them having to be home schooled. Other non-office operational staff either continued working, especially those in essential services, or had to work under some restricted capacity. Some businesses even had to shut down completely. Those businesses who were still operating, particularly in the early months of the pandemic, would conduct virtual business meetings, using platforms like Zoom or Microsoft Teams. I was still working at the onset of the pandemic in 2020 and Zoom meetings were the order of our day. If it was not the daily meetings of Heads of Departments on the status of the pandemic, about government restrictions, and what we needed to do as a business, other virtual meetings would be at department level. Topics would be about projects statuses, technology provisioning for remote staff, staff welfare, business sustainability, sales forecasts, budgets, and so forth.


Zoom meeting with colleagues
Zoom meeting with colleagues

(Source: Media from Wix. For illustration only)


Sometimes at the beginning of a virtual meeting I would hear colleagues exclaim, “I’ve just come from a Zoom meeting!” Or as if like a ‘badge of honour’, some would state that they’ve been attending virtual meetings all day long and have survived to attend another (this) meeting. Some even admitting that they have not been able to do any of their scheduled work because of meetings.


Like the list of domestic chores, moving from one office meeting to another (though they may be considered important), can become a mind-numbing affair where one’s behaviour and mind-set defaults to auto-pilot. And like the home keeper, the office worker loses awareness of their role, their environment, and their emotion, and state of mindfulness.


Even though we have come out of those unprecedented times during the height of the pandemic, many of the practices experienced at work and at home during the pandemic have continued today, compounded further by current demands on our lives, whether they be financial, social or emotional.


I believe we continue to make things worse for ourselves by not reaching for the ‘pause button’ during our daily chores, meetings, or activities. Like the paper shredder I have beneath my desk, there are times when after using it for a while, the machine will simply stop working. When the red-light is flashing I am forced to halt my paper shredding and wait for it to cool down before I can resume my work. If we were to extend this to a lesson in selfcare, perhaps we should consider doing our tasks, or in my case the task of shredding, a little slower or in a more considered way as to avoid an enforced timeout.


If we’re like the friend who admitted that they felt like being in the hamster's wheel, then the time to press the pause button is warranted. While I am not advocating making drastic steps, there are small improvements in our behaviours which could save us from being burnt out.


Adam Fraser in his book The Third Space identifies that the biggest opportunity to change our behaviour is to be conscious of the transition between one task and another, from one role to another or from one environment to another. These opportunities could be found in both at home and at the workplace. Examples of opportunities can be found in these scenarios below.


Domestic Scene - After sorting the clothes and switching on the washing machine (Task 1), you move straight to the task of vacuuming the dining area and the rest of the house (Task 2). Or you’ve just driven home from a hectic day at work as manager of a team of professionals (Role 1) and have entered your home in the role of parent (Role 2), whose primary age children have been waiting for you all afternoon. Or you’ve just driven 20 minutes for school drop-off (Environment 1) and now enroute to the local supermarket to buy the weekly groceries (Environment 2).


Children waiting for parent's return
Children waiting for parent's return

(Source: Media from Wix. Used for illustration only)


Workplace Scene – You’ve just finished arranging a recent load of apparel on to the display shelves in the store (Task 1), when you’re called to serve a customer at the counter (Task 2). Or you’ve started early to complete putting together a budget presentation for the CEO (Role 1), when at the start of the shift you’ve just learnt that a key worker is about to resign a week out from the company switching over to a new accounting system (Role 2). Or you’re having to move from a conference call taken at the CEO’s office (Environment 1) to a Zoom conference call in a meeting room down the corridor (Environment 2), which started 5 minutes earlier.


In looking for the opportunities to change, Fraser in his book refers to the transitional gap between different tasks, roles, and environments as the ‘third space’. It is here that he believes we can maximize our performance. It is very important to intentionally trigger a change of mindset between two very different activities such that you can give due focus on the new second activity. Author Stephen Lundin, writes, “Managing life’s transition by choosing your mindset, emotion and behaviour as you show up in the next episode (space)” can greatly enhance one's well-being.

In a recent book I read by Peter Scazzero on Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, the author admits that even as a Christian minister, he cannot work a seventy-hour week physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Scazzero says he needs three to five minutes for transitioning from one meeting to another in order to be centered and attentive. It goes to show that whatever you do, either at home, at work (secular or faith-based), in a corporate setting or in private business, being aware of one's transition in a task, role or environment is important.


All too often we move from one space to another without being conscious of the change, or pausing and resetting our mental alertness to that new moment. In Fraser's The Third Space, he suggests we ought to ‘reflect, rest, reset’ our thoughts while in that transition from the first space (where we have come from) to the second space (where we are going to). It is these little transitions that Fraser claims we can find balance, while reducing our stress levels.


While these transitions may be relatively small in time, Fraser uses the term 'micro-transitions' to describe this period, I would call these, ‘breather moments’ when transitioning between each task. While greater details are exposed in Fraser's book, here are my interpretation of the three actions he suggests that can take place during the transition moment.


Reflect: I believe we should all take a moment to reflect on what has just occurred in that ‘first space’. This could be done while walking to the next meeting or driving to the next environment. We could ask the question of ourselves, “Was I the best version of myself in that first space?”, “Did I make a positive impact on someone's life?”, “Did I learn something?” or “Were my actions adding value?”

Taking a breather moment between tasks
Taking a breather moment between tasks

(Source: Unsplash. For illustration only)

Rest: If the opportunity presents itself, we should take the time to sit done and enjoy a cuppa before, what Lundin calls the next episode. Such a break not only allows us time to reflect and helps the mind and body recover, but it also helps us to prepare for the next episode or space. If there is very little time between each space, then it is important to change one’s breathing and try to lower one’s heart rate. If you are a person of influence, one way to increase the opportunity to 'rest' between the first and second space, especially in a work environment is to change meeting times from hourly to 50-minute meetings. Unfortunately, many executives have a default setting for meetings to start on the hour. This often leads to many meetings becoming 'back-to-back' hourly meetings. This change will not only reduce or eliminate meeting fatigue, but it will also contribute to increased productivity in decision making. Another potential benefit which is often overlooked is the wait-time, outside the meeting room of those attending the second meeting for an earlier one (in the same room) to finish. And a scenario which many would have experienced is the interruption and recap for those arriving late from another meeting. Creating a transitional gap would ease many of these non-productive and stressful situations but provide our minds and bodies to settle before entering the next space.


Reset: Before stepping into a new role, doing a new task, or entering a new environment, however long or short that space is, we need to focus on what’s in front of us. Don’t dwell on what has just gone but perform the new task or action the new role as if it was your first task or role for the day. Even if that happens to be your seventh Zoom meeting of the day, give it your full attention, and contribute with enthusiasm. Always concentrate on the here and now, and if required do the retrospective of other meetings later in the day.


Let us return the Domestic Scene and Workplace Scene mentioned earlier. The opportunity for change lies in the transition between each of the task, each role, and each environment. When we apply the three R's of reflect, rest and reset, you will find that when tackling the new task, role and environment, you should have a better mental picture of and better feeling about the new space or episode.


When all elements of taking a 'breather moment' come together or when applying Fraser's three 'Rs', there are improvements that will result. In his book Fraser reported that the technique of reflect, rest and reset, was researched by Deakin University which found an improvement in mood in the home by 41 per cent. While this technique in the workplace is still to be thoroughly researched, Lundin who wrote the Forward to The Third Space, writes that, "It seems to me that the transitions are critical to leadership. The biggest part of leadership is simply showing up as a leader. To do this means managing the transitions and managing the Third Space."


Leaders in workplaces have an important role in demonstrating these behaviours to ensure that their teams improve their mental alertness, their emotional wellbeing and their enthusiasm. Good leaders not only demonstrate such behaviours but also mentor their direct reports to do the same, who then demonstrate these to others. We all need to use the pause button when life gets busy to maximise performance. Being mindful of the transitions we go through each day will assist the process.




2 comentários


Colin Santa Maria
Colin Santa Maria
14 de nov. de 2023

When I first read the title of the “pause” article, my immediate reaction was to relate it to your previous article smelling the roses. It however goes beyond that. The part that I found thought provoking was the reflection/ review piece during the interval prior to moving to the next activity. Reflecting on the previous activity and in some ways employing the project management technique of lessons learned and how I am able to do things better, is truly a worthwhile approach. The great thing about this , is that it can be applied to your work activities as well as in a social context. Life is about learning , improving and being a better version of oneself. However, as…

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Steven Pereira
Steven Pereira
14 de nov. de 2023
Respondendo a

Thanks for your reply and assessment. I enjoyed reading your insight. When writing the ‘pause’ essay I didn’t make a connection to ‘smelling the roses’ as it was written some time back. While the title would indicate a similarity (you’re quite right), I’d looked at the ‘pause’ from a different perspective. Even perhaps having a micro pause (Fraser refers to micro-transitions) between activities.

Thanks for your feedback.

Steve

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