Two Faces of Anger

Anger is an emotion we all have experienced, either at the receiving end or having displayed it. Anger is simpler to define than to identify. Expressions of anger range from the overt, in-your-face confrontation to the cool indifference of a silent stare. 

When researching the subject psychologists tell us that a complex emotion like anger arises from a combination of factors including psychological, biological and environmental. It is also suggested that anger is closely linked to our belief system, our values and the image we have of ourselves. For many of us anger is a response to feeling hurt, ignored, disrespected, or misunderstood. It may be connected to a specific situation, like a perceived injustice at work, or it may arise unexpectedly, rooted in something deeper. The silent withdrawal and lack of involvement of a spouse is often an indication that one partner is angrily punishing the other for not doing things his or her (desired) way. Often, anger masks other emotions, such as sadness, fear, or anxiety, which some people who feel vulnerable find difficult to express. For example, if someone feels rejected or unsupported, expressing anger might seem safer than admitting to themselves or others that they feel hurt or insecure.

However, when anger becomes the primary way of responding, it can lead to a cycle of frustration and isolation. Rather than addressing the root emotions, repeated expressions of anger often create barriers to effective communication and personal growth, leaving people stuck with unresolved feelings.

While most references paint a negative picture of anger, anger can be productive and loving, just as it can be destructive and selfish. Author Tim Jackson covers aspects of this in his article "Why Am I Angry - Understanding Anger's Roots." There are two types of anger covered in this essay, self-centred anger and productive anger. Self-centred anger can be destructive, which is driven by pride and selfish desires, or it can be self-directed anger which can be a motivation to change for the better.

In describing and explaining these two anger types this essay is written with a religious lens and references the story of Cain and Abel which is told in the holy books of all the three major monotheistic religions, Judaism, Christianity and Islam. This essay will also reference an account involving the apostle Peter's denial of Jesus in the New Testament of the Christian Bible.

With the Hebrew-Christian Bible as a reference, Tim Jackson explains that most biblical references to words like anger, rage, wrath, and fury are attributed to the anger of Yahweh, the Biblical name of God of the Israelites. When spoken in this context, the Bible often refers to God’s anger with His enemies or with His own people, which far outnumber Biblical references of people's anger. Jackson points out that what the Bible shows is that anger is neither right nor wrong until there is a motive.

Self-Centred Anger – i) Driven by Pride and Selfish Desires

There are two foci of self-centred anger. The first is a type of selfish anger that is wrapped up in pride and satisfying selfish desires such as revenge. Scripture refers to it as sinful, in other words a transgression against a moral code or divine commandment because it only seeks to serve self and wants to justify angry actions or words rather than taking responsibility for one's own behaviour.

A good example when illustrating the consequence of selfish anger is the story of Cain and Abel which is referenced in the Hebrew, Christian and Muslim holy books. It is the first explicit mention of anger in Scripture which shows its potential to kill. In Genesis chapter 4 (and its equivalent in the Quranic verses) the story is told of Cain and Abel (Qabil and Habil as referred to in the Quran verses 5:27-31). Both men brought sacrifices to God that reflected their individual occupations. But only Abel brought a sacrifice that pleased God. 

Genesis chapter 4 verse 5 records that “Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.” Here the Hebrew word for anger means “burning fury.” God approached Cain and tried to help him deal with his seething rage. God made it clear that He desired to accept Cain, but he had to come on God’s terms, not his own (Genesis 4:6-7). God then gave Cain a compelling warning: “If you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it” (Genesis 4:7). 

Cain had to make a choice. His pride was wounded. He was hurt and angry that God would not accept the fruit of his labour the way God accepted the fruit of Abel’s work. Yet God gave him an opportunity to deal with his emotions. The older brother could have repented and offered the sacrifice God had asked for. But Cain stubbornly refused to place himself in the protective care of God. Instead, he determined to take matters into his own hands.

Knowing that he was powerless to lash out directly at God - the true object of his anger - Cain pounced on the one with whom God was pleased: his brother Abel. Cain brutally murdered his brother. His heart became so hardened that when God came to him and inquired where his brother was, Cain sneeringly remarked, “I don’t know. Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9). God told him, “Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground,” and He put a curse on Cain, condemning him to be “a restless wanderer on the earth” (Genesis 4:10-12). 

In expounding the selfish anger displayed by Cain, Jackson exposes the unfruitful high price Cain paid for his self-protective strategy. Because he trusted his own feelings more than God, his name has become synonymous with the murderous potential of selfish anger. Cain’s error reminds us that anger rooted in self-centred efforts to care only for oneself does not work. Such anger seeks to destroy not build. It is said that human anger (as against righteous or loving anger) does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Self-Centred Anger – ii) Self-Directed

Another form of self-centred anger can be manifested in what psychologists call self-directed anger. It can either have a negative or positive influence on a person. The type of anger that can have a negative influence is often directed at oneself and involves negative self-talk, denying oneself things that bring happiness. Having a poor self-image of perceived negative character traits or habits can cause self-anger to develop and eventually guide and influence our behaviour. However, when anger is directed at oneself for any length of time that is beyond its purpose, it can cause people from performing effectively in their daily life. It can also be harmful to one’s mental health.

A positive influence from self-directed anger can occur when a person perceives that he or she has not achieved their personal best but can still uphold their goals in the future. Have you ever been angry with yourself when you fail to achieve something when you knew that you had it in you to achieve it? Self-directed anger can be motivational because it can promote behavioural change and spur a person on to do better. As a result, self-directed anger can be a strong force for change or improvement.

Continuing with a biblical theme we read in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 26, in the New Testament of the Christian Bible where the apostle Peter denied Jesus three times. Jesus spoke to Peter and foretold that “this very night, before the rooster crows, you [Peter] will disown me [Jesus] three times” (Matthew 26:34). Then later in the same chapter we read of how Peter had indeed disowned Jesus, "Then Peter remembered the words Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly" (Matthew 26:75).

One could speculate that Peter's weeping was personally excruciating, having told Jesus “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will” (Matthew 26:33). This would have resulted in Peter becoming very angry with himself as he would have been remorseful, felt that he let himself down and more importantly let his Lord down. He probably suffered a bout of self-blame and thinking that he was simply not good enough. This episode in Peter's life was likely a turning point, because the next time we read about Peter is in the Gospel of John, chapter 21. It’s when Jesus, after His resurrection approached Peter and the others who were in their fishing boat. When Peter learnt that Jesus was by the shore, Peter jumped into the water and swam towards Him. We read later in the chapter that Jesus forgives Peter and reinstates Peter's previous position and renewed his sense of purpose and stature (John 21:15-17).

One can turn self-directed anger, particularly when one fails at a set goal into a motivational force to positively make a difference in one's life towards self-fulfilment.

Productive Anger

Many holy books, like the Bible provide clear prohibitions against destructive anger. However, understanding of Scripture highlights that it is not the human emotion of anger that is the issue, but how we channel or express the anger externally when we are confronted with such emotions.

In demonstrating this, Jackson uses the passages from the apostle Paul's Letter to the Ephesians which says, “Don’t be angry, because it’s sin. Don’t let the sun go down while you’re still angry and do not give the devil a foothold" (Ephesians 4:26b-27). Jackson expounds on the preceding statement when the apostle Paul says, “In your anger do not sin” (Ephesian 4:26a).

How then can we be angry and avoid this emotion from spiralling into the hurt and the mistreatment of others, oneself, and not be in right standing with God and/or our moral and belief system.

1. While getting angry is unavoidable, sinful anger is. If we don’t keep our antagonistic emotions on a tight leash, they will cease to be useful in restraining sin and instead will begin to multiply it. 
   

2. Secondly Jackson interprets the text “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26b) as instructions for us to deal with our anger as soon as we are aware of it. Therefore, we are encouraged not to keep harbouring the anger. It will only fester.
   

3. Thirdly, anger can progress towards pride and selfish desires, which can lead to hatred, vengeance, a refusal to forgive, and violence. 

Anger is of itself not destructive. It can however stir up a bad conscience causing us to deny the truth, twist it, and say all kinds of unloving things about others. It can cause bitterness within families and people around us. Jackson states that "Bitterness depletes our passion for life. It displaces faith and love. Once faith and love are gone, we spiral downward into cynicism and vindictive living."

Conclusion

A fine line separates loving anger and selfish anger. Complete avoidance of anger is not the answer as it can lead to negative physical and spiritual consequences. Many people avoid anger at all costs because they have experienced the volatile emotion of anger in themselves and in others. Getting angry is part of being human and is not wrong. Jackson concludes in his article by saying that, "We play into the devil’s hands when we fail to love enough to be angry. Anger and love are not mutually exclusive. Righteous anger in a compassionate person can lead to the well-being of others."