The Insecure Manager

In the Australian television comedy series called ‘Fisk’, first aired on ABC Television in March 2021, the main character Helen Tudor-Fisk, a corporate lawyer whose career and marriage had fallen apart, moves interstate to take up a job in a small suburban law firm specialising in wills, probate and deceased estates. The first episode sees Fisk introducing herself to the small office team and here we begin to learn the nuances of each of the characters in the show. The one that stood out for me, and is the basis for this essay, is the character Roz Gruber. She is the sister of the lawyer character Ray Gruber in the firm Gruber and Gruber. Roz who had been suspended from practicing law had appointed herself as office manager, leaving any legal work to her brother and the new lawyer Fisk.

What was demonstrated by the character Roz were the traits of what I would call an insecure manager. Roz’s antics left Fisk having to navigate the challenges faced and dealing with the insecurity displayed by Roz. Fisk realises that she’s a ‘newbie’ in the firm and is desperate to settle in her new job and a new life. With the interplay of the other characters in the series, it takes an unusual witty perspective in an otherwise dull run-of-the mill office of wills and probate law.

While working with an insecure manager can be difficult, I don’t believe it is impossible. I have experienced and heard of stories over the many years in corporate employment of the challenges faced by people in different roles in the organisation. Some people have been able to work alongside insecure managers and succeeded in their careers, while others have left the organisation for other ‘pastures’. I have also known of managers who had demonstrated insecurity traits who have tried to improve themselves and who have succeeded. The presence of insecure managers is not specific to any industry nor restricted to a stressful workplace. Such displays of insecurity from a boss can appear in both ‘blue’ and ‘white’ collar work environments.

As I recount some of these character traits through stories, as a reader of this essay it will be more valuable if we consider these traits at a personal level. View these as opportunities for us to work positively to overcome such challenges when we are faced with a boss who demonstrates these insecurity traits. The 19th century Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung tells us, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

Source: Unsplash (For illustration only)

From another perspective as a manager, if we see ourselves being reflected in any of these traits, then consider these as growth opportunities. American author on organisational behaviour and leadership Margaret J. Wheatley says, “Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”

Rani [not her real name] shared a story recently of her boss who had for years been trying to sign up a well-known celebrity as a keynote speaker for their annual business event. When Rani started working in the business, she was given the task to organize the event, from preparing invitations, organising catering, managing sponsor partners, and signing up a keynote speaker. The obvious questions were asked of her manager like budget, theme, and the profile of the speaker the company was after. When Rani suggested pursuing a well-known television celebrity for this occasion, as she knew of the celebrity through a friend, her boss suggested that she could try. The manager added that she did not hold on too much hope of a successful outcome as she had been trying to sign the celebrity up for some time. After a few days had passed, Rani received word from her friend that this celebrity would accept the invitation to speak. As soon as Rani mentioned this to her boss, she immediately relieved Rani of her event management role, indicating that the manager would immediately take over the project and will be liaising directly with the celebrity. Rani's manager's rationale was that the celebrity would need to be looked after by someone more senior.

In an article by Ben Brearley, published in Thoughtful Leader, titled ‘Working for an insecure manager?,’ Brearley describes this as one common sign of an insecure manager. Brearley calls this behaviour as “taking the credit”. This is when an insecure manager takes credit for the team’s achievements, instead of passing it on. He says that insecure managers don’t want their team getting all the attention.

Such a display is analogous to tripping on the first hurdle of a race, as the first test of an insecurity trait is how a manager responds to the success of others. Managers who lack confidence are a danger to the wellbeing of themselves and their team. Without going into the distinction between managers and leaders, I believe that in today's workplaces managers are leaders. With leadership comes transparency and a leader’s flaw, whether we like it or not, is continually on display. I would even go as far as to say that an insecure manager would find it hard to be regarded as a good leader. In the words of John C Maxwell “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.”

It may be an oxymoron to suggest that an insecure manager expects to see success from their team members. However here are four common traits that insecure managers will generally display concerning the success of others.

[1] Insecure managers do not provide security for others. The work environment that they create is one of fear and intimidation. Brearley in his article identifies these common signs:

a) A need for control. He says, insecure or unconfident managers will often “clampdown” on their people, to try to control everything so nothing goes wrong, and they don’t become exposed.

b) Sometimes insecure manager can start displaying dominant behaviour, often leading them to talk over people, criticising, yelling or even bullying. The psychology of the insecure manager is to keep their team member feeling fearful in an effort to make them more compliant.

c) The insecure manager sees themselves as the figurehead, and fear the loss of important relationships, so they keep key accounts to themselves. They inhibit their team member from building relationships themselves. They often assign their team members to minor accounts, if at all.

Source: Media from Wix (For illustration only)

To be a good leader, one must make others, especially team members feel good about themselves. Honour them when a job is achieved and done well. Rewarding them as appropriate, which may be as simple as an organised team lunch or dinner. Or even promote them at the right time. Giving a high-achiever a more challenging project or assignment is another indication of the trust a good manager leader has in the person.

[2] Insecure managers take more than they give. They are continually searching for validation, acknowledgement, and affirmation. And so, like Rani’s example, insecure managers are focused in obtaining personal security, credit, and recognition in what they do, but not ensuring that these values are instilled in their team and co-workers. Referring to the Brearley article, he calls this behaviour of insecure managers as having a lack of delegation skills. These managers want greater control which leads them to hoard the important work, instead of delegating the work to a co-worker or team member. Often these workers feel used in the pursuit of recognition by their insecure manager.

A manager/leader who is confident in their position and feels secure in their role will find it easier to delegate. They know that they do not hold all the knowledge in bringing about a successful outcome to a project or assignment. They recognise that there are others who may be more capable than them.

[3] Another common trait displayed by insecure managers is their tendency to continually limit their best people expanding their thoughts and views. One sign of this is the lack of seeking input from team members on matters that may concern the team, project, or task. Brearley suggest that by asking the team, the insecure manager feels exposed, as if indicating that he or she is ignorant and is therefore seeking answers to questions that the manager should know. Often, therefore the insecure manager won’t ask for or take on suggestions from team members. Insecure managers don’t see their best people as co-workers. They see them as potential competitors who might rise through the ranks and threaten their position.

Here is a story of a manager/leader who viewed things differently; someone who encouraged a team member to pursue his curiosity. One day a manager was asked about the store’s operating system by a recently employed junior staff member who had an aptitude for IT systems. Even though he was not employed for his skills in IT, he was keen to learn a little more of the module he had been trained on. Samuel, the junior staff, asked his manager to show him a little more about a specific store application module. Apparently, he had spotted an opportunity to improve the process during his training on the operating system weeks earlier. Having found some time, the manager started showing Samuel the workings of the module. Even though it had been a while since the manager last used the module, she was supportive of Samuel’s interest in the system. Unfortunately, they reached a point in the inquiry screen which the manager was unfamiliar with. After a few attempts they decided to end the session. The manager admitted her inability to move further but acknowledged Samuel’s inquisitiveness to improve the process. The manager agreed to investigate the issue raised and share the outcome with Samuel.

Source: Media from Wix (For illustration only)

In the above scenario the manager/leader was not displaying any insecure traits, but on the contrary attempted to follow through with Samuel’s inquiry, even though it may show up the manager’s weakness in knowing the intricacies of the module. This is an example of a manager being confident in her role, while encouraging the junior staff member to pursue his knowledge with the aim of improving an existing process. Dale Carnegie, American writer of the early 20th century, famous for his books on effective speaking and interpersonal skills was quoted as saying, “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.”

[4] Lastly the actions from insecure manager can have a detrimental effect not only on the team but also limit their organisation. When team members are undermined and go unrecognized, they become disheartened and disillusioned. They may even stop performing to their potential, which then affects the productivity of the whole organisation.

A good manager is one who seeks to develop their staff to their potential. The evidence of this is where their staff show signs of improvement, their staff are upskilled and staff grow in experience. Often such team members are promoted, sometimes to other departments in the organisation. Insecure managers try to restrain good staff (so that the insecure manager looks good) rather than see them expand into other areas with their blessing.

No organisation wants to lose highly skilled workers, and to have them leave over actions that could have easily been avoided is shameful. English author and motivational speaker Marcus Buckingham says, “People leave managers, not companies.” I would add by saying that “Insecure managers are the weakest link in an organisation’s chain of command.”

So what can you do if you have an insecure manager in the organisation.

As a senior line a manager, I believe one must provide the necessary coaching, training, and incentives for change to take place. Firstly an insecure manager must be made to see their flaws, and to see the potential that change can deliver to them and their team’s success. Then by setting goals, working hard on improving their confidence, empathy, sense of worth and team dynamics the insecure manager could end up being a “keeper” in the organisation. If however, the environment created by the insecure manager is so toxic that no amount of counselling can help, then the wisest move by management would be to consider removing one ‘bad apple’ before the whole team is affected. In his book, ‘The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork’, John C Maxwell writes “If you leave a bad apple in a barrel of good apples, you’ll always end up with a barrel of rotten apples.”

If you are reporting to an insecure manager, the article by Ben Brearley has a few tips. He however first challenges the team member to ask themselves the question concerning what their personal the end goal is. He says, “If your goal is to change your manager and 'fix' them, you’re probably out of luck. You can’t force them to stop being insecure, and you’ll waste a lot of energy in the process…Without a clear goal for staying in this unpleasant situation, you may be causing harm to yourself.” For more on Brearley’s article click here.

If you have any questions, I can help you with, please send me an email at steven@frommydeskathome.com