We live in a world where many things are taken for granted, very often not realising the consequences of our actions or inactions. From experience, our senses and our health are most often taken for granted. We seem to just put up with the loud sounds of ‘ear shattering’ noise, whether from car radios, HiFi systems, construction sites or even from the humble lawn mower. We can even ‘personalise’ the sounds we are listening to, without impacting our surroundings by wearing wireless earphones or headphones. Medical science has proven that consistent exposure to loud sounds can lead to a loss of hearing. However we continue to choose to do what we want.
Even with food, we eat what we want, whether the choice is good for us or not. Although I’m just as guilty, I know that too much refined sugar, sweets, processed meats, greasy chips, and burgers are not the best for our health. The consequences of eating the wrong foods can be obesity and high cholesterol leading to diabetes from consuming too much sugar, or heart attacks from a daily diet of greasy chips and burgers.
We also know that long periods in the sun, while giving us a fashionable tan, can lead to skin cancer without appropriate sun-smart protection. And like with food where too much of one type or style is not good, a little time in the sun can benefit us by way of its vitamin D, but too much especially its Ultra Violet rays are not good.
We can all recollect from our school days of Newton’s Law of Physics which says that “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." Applying this law to life’s situations, we can say that every action we choose to make will result in a consequential result, either good or bad.
American clergyman, lawyer and politician James Esdras Faust puts it much better when he said, ”In this life we have to make many choices. Some are very important choices. Some are not. Many of our choices are between good and evil. The choices we make, however, determine to a large extent our happiness or our unhappiness, because we have to live with the consequences of our choices. Making perfect choices all of the time is not possible. It just doesn't happen. But it is possible to make good choices we can live with and grow from.”
Source: Unsplash (For illustration only)
We make choices every day. From the time we were able to comprehend the world around us and had the physical ability to do things on our own, we were faced with choices. As adults the choices we make are more profound, weightier in nature and many choices have greater consequences, particularly where there are other people involved, like loved ones, children, parents, and spouses. Greater care and consideration therefore become necessary when such choices are made.
I recently came across a social media post which listed the five most common regrets from people who had lived lives with the decisions and choices they had made. They shared their story while on their death bed. All those who were surveyed had been suffering with the consequences of their decisions, only realising too late in their lives what they could have done differently. Here is the ‘edited’ extract from the post, including some of my own thoughts.
[1] "I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
When people realise that their life is almost over and look back on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
A dream or vision that you have is often divinely given, often to fulfill a calling or a mission. An unfulfilled dream can often lead to regret and a melancholic existence. Read my previous essay https://www.frommydeskathome.com/post/consider-these-when-making-your-decision
where I say, "Pursue your dream and assess your preferred choice in the context of it supporting your dream."
[2] "I wish I didn’t work so hard."
They (mainly men) missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. All of the people deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. It remains a major challenge for many who work in this digital 21st century.
This is often a difficult choice to make; either to make more money for a comfortable future and have a secure job versus living for the quality of the relationships and having more time fostering old and new relationships. The question always remain, "How much is enough?" In the Book of Ecclesiastes, relating to riches, it says in chapter 5 verse 10 "Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless." Proverbs 23:4-5 says, "Do not overwork to be rich; Because of your own understanding, cease! Will you set your eyes on that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; They fly away like an eagle toward heaven."
[3] "I wish I had the courage to express my feelings."
Many people chose to suppress their feelings in order to keep peace with others or were afraid of the ramifications of speaking out. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
There are some people who are only living a life just to keep the peace, and never standing up for their own beliefs or conviction. They are virtually living the lives of others and are constantly remaining in other people's shadows. They are not living their lives to the fullest. Life is not a 'merry-go-round'. In other words, life is not a simple and cosy ride. It is more like a 'roller-coaster', full of ups and downs, of celebrations and sadness. It takes determination, courage and a strong desire to break out of a timid and suppressed existence.
[4] "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."
Often people would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.
Apart from a commitment to foster real friendships and connections, I have found over the years that the biggest stumbling blog to maintaining strong friendships is the lack of forgiveness. Unforgiveness very often severs close friendships until it is too late.
[5] "I wish that I had let myself be happier."
Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. As it is said in Proverbs 17:22 "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
Source: Unsplash (For illustration only)
Even a student has to make choices. It is more than what pair of sneakers to wear, or what pair of jeans to buy, or which friends they go out with or what education and career choices they make. It is said that a teacher cannot impose knowledge, understanding, and wisdom upon a student. The student must cooperate in the process and decide for themselves what choices they make. Without this, little or no evidence of learning is produced. While it can be challenging for young people to make life choices, there is a saying "Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance." Young people should seek a mentor or a person they trust to give them wise counsel.
Source: Media from Wix (For illustration only)
My faith has played a large part in many of my life choices. I continue to learn and understand, through the divine influence of God. The life choices I make are largely influenced by His guidance and the wisdom He gives. King Solomon of the Old Testament, who was supposedly the wisest of men, wrote in Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” The Bible speaks a lot about choices we must make. My life choices are based on one thing, eternity*! I’m reminded of this statement in the Gospel of Mark, chapter 8, verse 36, “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world yet forfeit their soul."
Life is full of choices. Choose conscientiously, choose wisely, and choose honestly.
* Addendum to my 'eternity' statement.
One of my life choices, which has allowed me to a live life with contentment and fulfillment was my decision to put my faith and trust in Jesus Christ. He is the one who had freed me from the weight of sin. In the Book of Romans 3:23, it is said that "For all [people] have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." However, having accepted God's free gift of salvation, I am reassured by the words of Jesus when He said in the Book of John 6:47 that, "Whoever believes in Me has eternal life."
I have shared my faith story in an earlier essay https://www.frommydeskathome.com/post/my-dna-of-jesus-is-my-identity
Even on a 'death bed' one can accept this free gift. In the Gospel of Luke it was recorded that a prisoner on a cross next to Jesus who was also on a cross, uttered these words (Luke 23:42-43), ""Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom!" And Jesus said to him, "Truly I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."" Jesus was crucified and became the sacrificial 'lamb' for humanities' redemption.
This 'death bed' redemption story is not isolated to a time 2,000 years ago. It continues to happen today. Here's a story of Chris who was terminally ill. When the pastor prayed for him, he asked Chris if he was prepared to put his faith and trust in Jesus. They spoke of the new and restored life demonstrated by Chris's son after he had come to faith a few years earlier. With that evidence, the two prayed and Chris accepted Jesus as his personal Saviour. "Relief!", was Chris's heart's cry after they prayed. Chris died a few days later. That day he joined that prisoner on the cross, and all those who have died in Christ, in God's Kingdom.
Steven
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