I received an invitation to attend an old boys’ school reunion at Trinity College, Perth in early December 2017. Knowing that I wouldn’t be travelling to Perth to visit my mum during the Christmas season that year, I decided to go to the reunion and also spend as much time as I could with mum and my three sisters, Marisa, Daphne and Bibiana while I was there. It had been a long time since I’d seen my three sisters and their families in one trip to Perth so I wasn’t letting this opportunity slip by. It will also be a while until I see my brother Sherman, as he lives and works in Moscow, but I hear on the WhatsApp grapevine that he may be visiting Perth this year.
There was something special spending time with my mum during this last trip to Perth. She has a favourite spot in the house and very often she will ask, “Come Steve, let’s sit down and relax a little over a cup of tea”. That’s mum’s hidden language to say, “Let’s talk”! I know mum spends much time in the kitchen but it’s not her favourite place in the house. The kitchen is where she’s continually preparing meals for her daughters or grandchildren who may unexpectedly drop in from time to time. Her favourite spot is not the family room where the TV is, though she loves watching the news and those reality cooking shows. It’s not even the garden where she has roses, a lemon tree, an assortment of herbs plus a mango tree. Mum loves to sit in the veranda of the house she’s been in for nearly 48 years. With the view of her garden and the street, she can watch the neighbours walk by and the children going to and from school. That special place is behind glass windows and a security door. Who could blame her for liking that special place.
Photo: Steven Pereira, 2017
It happened to be mango season when we sat down to talk. Amongst the many topics we covered, she shared with me something profound which I thought worth illustrating. While she may not have realised what I was going to do with the story, it certainly made me think about my actions. The funny side of the story was how a story about mangoes could teach me a lot about human behavior relating to the many gifts we have received over time.
Mum had harvested mangoes a few weeks prior and had given them to three neighbours. The first neighbour received the mangoes from mum, said thanks and mum had not seen the neighbour since (I understand that the neighbor still lives in the street). The second neighbour received the mangoes, chattered a little and told mum she would catch up for a cup of tea but never did. The third neighbour received the bag of mangoes, thanked her for it and the next day brought over a bunch of flowers with a card to express their gratitude in receiving the gift from mum.
I thought to myself, these three examples of how neighbours received gifts could easily represent how we would behave when receiving gifts ourselves.
During this summer season, many of us would have attended birthdays, weddings, housewarmings and baby shower parties. If it was not our birthday or wedding or housewarming party, we would have had to take a gift if we were invited. The most exciting time for me and my family this season was the giving of presents on the night of Christmas Eve. It was full of celebratory excitement and expectation, especially for the grandchildren.
Photo: Wix Media
The act of giving is a big deal in many religious and non-religious events. During the Muslim Eid festival (around August), the giving of sweets, date cookies and gifts to the underprivileged are customary. During the Hindu Diwali festival (in October), flowers, incense, perfumed oils and ornaments are given, and for the Jewish feast of Hanukkah (in December), giving children the traditional dreidel, chocolate coins, books, handcrafted gifts and charitable gifts are all part of the Hanukkah custom. During the Chinese Lunar New Year in January, many children would receive the customary money filled little red envelopes, called hongbao (in Mandarin) from their elders while adults may receive tea, candles, fruit baskets or ornamental tea sets.
While the act of giving is a real blessing, not only for the recipient but also for the giver, the point worth asking is, what do each of us do with the gifts we have received. Like the lone wrapped present that remains at the bottom of the Christmas tree after everyone has received their gifts, many of us can admit to having gifts still unwrapped in a cupboard somewhere at home. Even with the gift of money, if it is not spent, it will lose its purchasing value over time. What’s more, even if we did unwrap the gift and found that it was, say, a set of coffee mugs or a toaster, if it is not put to good use it’s simply wasted. For the gift to function in the way the manufacturer had intended, the wrapper has to be removed and the gift be put to use to serve its purpose.
We can be like mum’s first neighbour who simply took the gift with nothing more than a thank you but with no outward demonstration of gratitude. Or like the second neighbour who was excited with the gift and promised to show gratitude but failed in its follow through. Or like the third neighbour who after receiving the gift, demonstrated gratitude in a simple but measurable way.
The examples above are similar to the talents each of us have received. I believe the gift of creativity that some of us have received, whether in music or the arts, or having the prowess in science, mathematics or engineering, or being blessed with oratory skills, skills in dance or athletics, are wrapped up in each one of us - each with its own distinctive level of gift. It is our responsibility to unwrap what we have and to put it to good use. It is this that some call our ‘purpose’ or ‘gifting’. If we do not wish to live in regret when we have ‘one foot in the grave’ before realizing we had the talents to do exceedingly more than what we settled for, it’s never too late to unwrap the gift inside of us and use it. I say it’s best before we have our two feet in the grave. By this time all will be in vain.
コメント